


Dunder Mifflin, Midvale

by thohh



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, more ships and tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-07-11 02:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15962702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thohh/pseuds/thohh
Summary: CAT: I like to think of myself as (lifts up “World’s Best Boss” mug).KARA: Sorry to interrupt, Miss Grant, but Winn’s downstairs. He’s saying something about you hitting him with your car. (a shot of Winn on the floor of the parking lot, leg bleeding through his pants)CAT: Okay so occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. Sue me.





	1. World's best boss

CAT: I like to think of myself as (lifts up “World’s Best Boss” mug).

KARA: Sorry to interrupt, Miss Grant, but Winn’s downstairs. He’s saying something about you hitting him with your car. (a shot of Winn on the floor of the parking lot, leg bleeding through his pants)

CAT: Okay so occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. Sue me.

/

(Cat steps in front of the camera, waving erratically)

“Hi there. I’m the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Midvale, and this (she lifts her hands above her head, manic) is my empire.”

(camera pans around the room before Cat twists it back around to her)

“Let me introduce you to our staff.” She walks over to the front desk, across from her office.

“This is our favorite receptionist, Keira-”

“My name is Kara.”

Cat smiles blankly at the camera.

“Yes. She answers phones.”

Kara, a brunette with bright blue eyes, waves excitedly at the camera.

/

KARA: I like working for Miss Grant. She’s… passionate. (camera zooms out, captures Cat in her office, flinging something at an employee)

/

“This is Alex Danvers.” Alex grimaces at the camera, before turning briskly away from Cat. There’s a young man sitting in front of Alex, and Cat places her hand on his shoulder, rubbing her thumb over his crisp white shirt. “And Clark Kent, our star salesman.” Her voice gets deeper, and Clark smiles at the camera uncomfortably.

/

CLARK: I know I’m a grown man, but she terrifies me.

/

Cat continues the office tour, stopping at the Accounting Department’s cubicles. “Our two man accounting team! Winslow and James. Where’s Winslow?” “You hit him with your car.” James deadpans. Cat smiles blankly at the camera. “Anyways,” she replies.

/

JAMES: I’m actually a photographer. Cat hired me because I take good portraits.

/

CAT (touching up her lipstick, snapping her pocket mirror shut): What’s the point of being the face of an empire if you don’t look good?

/

“And here’s Michael! He’s our temp.”

(camera closes in on an attractive young man in a light blue shirt)

“Oh! Hello! I’m Mike Matthews.” He coughs. “My friends call me Mon El.”

Cat scoffs. “What a horrible name! I’m just going to call you Michael.”

He smiles awkwardly before looking towards the front desk.

/

CAT (exasperated): I invented branding. What kind of a name is Mon El?

/

MIKE: I only started two days ago. I don’t plan on working here very long. (his eyes shift towards the front desk before refocusing on the camera) I’m sorry, what was the question?

/

ALEX (with a scowl): He better stay away from my sister.

/

(In the warehouse)

“And here’s the underbelly of Dunder Mifflin - the beating heart that keeps us going!”

(Camera closes in on a group of employees in grey warehouse workwear. They scowl when they notice Cat approaching. Cat, oblivious, carries on)

“Our humble peasants of Dunder Mifflin!”

One of the workers approaches Cat, a menacing look on her face. Cat recoils and runs back to the main entrance of the building.

/

VASQUEZ: That high end bitch scares easy.

/

(Back in the office)

“We’re heading back to the annex now, where our evil office-dweller resides.” A good-looking man with a smarmy grin on his face approaches. He has a bluetooth earpiece in his right ear. Cat rolls her eyes at him. “Max, you work at a paper company, not Wall Street. Do you really need an earpiece?” Max’s face falls for a moment before the smarmy grin returns.

/

CAT: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Maxwell Lord, I’d shoot Max twice.

/

MAXWELL LORD: I’m in human resources. So technically, Cat’s not my boss. (he puffs out his chest) I’m actually from corporate.

/

Cat enters the cubicle next to Maxwell’s.

“Here’s Lucy Lane, our customer service representative. She collects complaints.”

Lucy’s on the phone, speaking with a client. She finishes filling a customer complaint card and thanks them for calling. As soon as she’s done, Cat begins to ask her who the complaint was about. “You’re welcome to read it,” Lucy retorts with a small sneer, before heading towards the kitchen. Cat flips the card over and sees her own name on it. “Never mind,” she says.

/

LUCY: Is it cruel that I get fake customers to call and complain about Cat? Not if it gets her fired.

/

Cat walks over to the final desk, near the door leading to the kitchen. “This is John.” She gestures to his name plate. “He spells it like that,” she stage whispers. J’onn ignores her. He’s playing online chess.

/

J’ONN: (glares into the camera, silently, before walking out)

/

ALEX: I know J’onn’s hard to talk to. But he’s like a father to me. And Kara.

/

(In Cat’s office)

Kara knocks on the door, grinning. Cat waves her in distractedly.

“Miss Grant, is it true that we have a new buyer?”

Cat looks up. If Kara were sitting down, she’d be on the edge of her seat.

“Keira, you know I can’t stand a gossip. Go send some emails or sharpen some pencils or something. And shut the door.”

Kara leaves, dejected. Cat makes sure she’s shut the door before picking up the phone. “Hello, Morgan? Is it true that we have a new buyer?”

/

CAT: I really do hate gossip. And Morgan Edge, who looks like a used q-tip. But I also hate being left out.

/

Mike approaches the front desk. He digs his fingers into the jelly bean jar, getting distracted by Kara, talking to Alex. Alex’s head snaps around to look at him. “Are you just going to stand there all day?” Mike pulls his fingers back fast, knocking the jar over.

/

ALEX: I could murder him.

/

KARA: That new guy’s kind of cute. 

/

(Front desk)

The phone rings. “Dunder Mifflin, Midvale. This is Kara speaking.”

“Hi Kara, it’s Olivia. Is Cat ready to see me? I’m on my way down from Metropolis.”

(Camera pans to Cat’s office, where Cat is getting her nails painted.)

“Yes, she’s ready!” Kara replies, a false smile plastered onto her face.

“Good. Tell her to expect me in an hour.” Olivia hangs up.

Kara gulps.

/

KARA: This isn’t going to end well.

/

(Kara approaches Cat, who is getting her nails buffed)

“Miss Grant, I need to talk to you.”

“Not now, Keira,” Cat dismisses. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” (camera zooms into Cat’s nails, which are bright red)

“Miss Grant, Miss Marsdin is on her way to see you.”

Cat looks unbothered. “Very well, Keira.”

“Miss Grant, I-”

“That’s all.” Cat glares at her.

Kara walks back towards her desk slowly.

Alex gives her a quizzical look, but before she can say anything Winn comes in, on crutches. “Winn! You’re okay!” Winn grimaces in pain. “I’m fine, thanks Kara. I fractured my ankle, though.” Clark approaches the front desk. He slaps Winn’s back. “Welcome back buddy! Let me know if you need anything,” he says, before grabbing a jelly bean and heading back to his desk.

/

WINN: That Clark is… such a good friend.

/

(In Cat’s office. The crew films from outside, through the window. Olivia and Cat’s mics are both on)

“What do you mean, you’re selling Dunder Mifflin?”

Olivia sighs. “We’ve decided to sell. We’ve been struggling to keep things afloat, and this new company is showing promising signs of growth.”

“Who’s buying it?” Cat asks, indignantly.

“L-Corp.” Cat pauses for a moment, and then grins like the cat who got the cream. Wait til Morgan Edge hears this.

“So Lex Luthor’s taking an interest in paper now?”

“Not Lex. Lena. Lex is in prison for tax fraud.”

“How is this going to affect operations?”

Olivia’s thoughtful. “I’m not sure it will. They’ve made it clear that they mean to keep running it the way it’s been run, with a bigger budget for marketing. But it might mean some reshuffling of personnel.”

/

CAT: Lena Luthor is an absolute legend. I can’t wait to meet her.

/

Olivia continues. “You have to make sure this doesn’t get out. Usually, stuff like this makes employees panic, and they start resigning.”

“Don’t you worry,” Cat says with an exaggerated wink. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

/

As soon as Olivia’s gone, Cat stands on Kara’s desk and yells, “WE’VE BEEN BOUGHT BY LENA LUTHOR!”

/

MIKE: Lena Luthor? She’s a babe. I have a special “gift” with the ladies, you know. (finger quotes around “gift”)

/

WINN: Lena Luthor is so cool. Did you know she started out as an accountant too? (He stares dreamily into the distance)

/

KARA: Who’s Lena Luthor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 forthcoming.. come yell at me i'm @butchsocialist on tumblr


	2. L-Corp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is sorry it's a bit short

(A few days later)

A woman in a black trench coat and black pumps makes her way towards the Dunder Mifflin office building. Her hair’s up in a tight bun, and she’s wearing black sunglasses. She makes her way up the elevator, looking slightly troubled at the cameras following her, but not unused to it.

(A crew member rushes to open the door for her)

She approaches the front desk, where an unaware Kara Danvers is taking a huge bite out of a greasy looking sandwich. She takes off the glasses and gives Kara her most winning smile, leaning over Kara slightly.

“Hi. I’m Lena Luthor. Here to see Cat Grant?”

Kara halts mid-bite, looking up at Lena Luthor. (camera zooms in) There’s a full thirty seconds of awkward silence before Kara puts the sandwich down, wiping her face ungracefully with her sleeves.

“Yes! Miss Luthor! It’s very nice to meet you! Please take a seat, Miss Grant will be with you shortly.” She directs Lena to the worn out couch at the entrance, before stepping out of her cubicle. “And thank you, Miss Luthor, for, you know,” she winks conspiratorially before running to get Cat. Lena Luthor’s smile freezes on her face.

/

KARA (awestruck): Oh.

/

LENA LUTHOR: I’m Lena Luthor. (she stares into the camera) _Please_ call me Lena. I used to be the CFO at L-Corp but now I’m the CEO, after my brother… (a pained expression appears on her face, before she waves it off) Anyways! I’m looking forward to this new L-Corp venture. I’m sure we’ll be changing many lives for the better, under my direction. (camera zooms in to a spot behind Lena’s head, where Kara is watching intently, still devouring her sandwich)

/

Lena Luthor meets with Cat first, then Olivia joins them. Olivia greets Lena with a warm kiss on the cheek, and Cat with a quick nod. Kara’s in the conference room with them, taking meeting minutes. She looks between Lena and Olivia, curious.

“I trust you’ve maintained discretion, about the status of Dunder Mifflin’s ownership?” Lena chances a quick glance at the assistant, who stifles a smile. Cat splutters, before Lena gets up and opens the conference room door.

“How many of you know that I’m in the process of buying Dunder Mifflin?”

Slowly, hands start to go up. Soon enough everyone in the office has raised their hands, except J’onn, who’s doing a crossword.

“Thank you.” She comes back into the conference room. Olivia is livid. Cat pretends she’s in another dimension.

“I’m sure there was some sort of misunderstanding,” Lena Luthor says. She smiles, a cold smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I hope you’ll follow direction more astutely under my leadership, Miss Grant.”

“Please call me Cat,” Cat says, still averting her gaze.

“Okay then, Cat. I trust you’ll follow clear directions more astutely next time.” 

Cat nods shortly.

“Alright, let’s proceed, shall we? Everything seems to be in order, Olivia. Now, we’re deciding whether to close the Midvale or the Smallville branches -”

“Smallville?” Cat sneers. “Why don’t you just close their branch? Lois has nothing on me.”

Lena looks appalled. “Cat, we can’t just close their branch with no notice. I’ll be taking the month to evaluate the performance of both branches. And obviously we’ll absorb any employees who want to stay on.” 

Kara looks between them nervously. She notices Mike staring at her between the conference room blinds, and she gets up to shut them, annoyed. She adjusts her glasses and sits back down.

Olivia pauses before proceeding. “Cat, I know how you feel about the Smallville branch. But we have to do what’s best for Dunder Mifflin, and more importantly what’s best for L-Corp.”

Cat huffs and sits back. “Fine. At least it can’t get any worse than this.” 

Lena smiles. “I’m glad we’re in agreement. Now, Olivia has graciously agreed to stay on as my liaison with the other Dunder Mifflin branches, at least until I get acquainted. My CFO, Sam, will be popping in and out to talk to your accountants. I’ll be setting up shop in your office, Cat, until-”

“Ex _cuse_ me?”

Lena stops. “What’s the issue now, Cat?” she asks exasperatedly.

“You can’t just - you - that’s _my_ office! I’m the regional manager!” She storms out.

“Remind me why you keep her around again?” Lena mutters, as Olivia leaves to deal with Cat, leaving Lena alone with Kara.

There’s a moment of silence before Kara chimes in.

“Miss Luthor -”

“Please call me Lena.”

“Miss-- Lena. Miss Grant doesn’t mean to be… difficult, she’s just passionate about her job. I’m not sure if you noticed but as a branch we have the best numbers in the region. That’s because of Miss Grant’s leadership, even if she is… the way she is.”

Lena nods, contemplating Kara’s words. The phone rings.

“Excuse me, I have to get this.” Kara steps out, and Lena’s eyes drop to her butt.

/

LENA: That Kara Danvers is quite an… _insightful_ assistant. Cat’s lucky to have her.

/

(camera pans to Cat and Olivia, returning to the conference room. Kara returns as well)

“I’ll set up shop in the conference room then, Cat, if that’s alright with you.” Lena looks over at Kara, who gives her a small, encouraging smile. Cat looks appeased.

“I’m still going to be closing your branch or the Smallville branch.”

Cat rolls her eyes. “Fine. But you better tell Lois to stay out of my way.” She looks at Olivia, who nods, amused.

/

OLIVIA: Crisis averted.

/

“Also, if our branch wins, Snapper needs to defer to me. And stop bullying my receptionist.”

/

OLIVIA: (stares into the camera, annoyed)

/

“Snap out of it,” says Alex, snapping her fingers in front of Kara’s face.

Kara looks up at Alex, who looks towards the conference room, where Lena is sitting.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing! She’s just so _cool_.”

Alex rolls her eyes, and rolls them again when she sees Mike walking over.

“You’re on your own, kiddo.”

She leaves. Kara, for one, doesn’t seem too fazed by Mike’s company, but she looks at him sternly when she sees him looking at the jelly beans. He grins, letting Kara drop a few into his palm instead of risking touching the jelly bean jar.

/

MIKE: She really gets me. I must get her to go out with me.

/

(At Clark’s desk)

“Where are you going so soon?” Cat drawls, leaning against Clark’s desk. He’s packing his things. A drop of sweat begins to trickle down the side of his face when he senses Cat getting closer.

“Cat! Hello! I’m going on a sales call.”

“Why don’t you send the gay one instead?”

There are sounds of protest from both Alex and Winn before they look at each other and shut up.

“Cat! That’s inappropriate,” retorts Clark, fumbling with his papers. “Going out on sales calls is in my job description.”

/

CLARK: Also, I want to see Lois, but please don’t tell Cat.

/

ALEX: In all her excitement, Cat forgot to mention that Clark is the top _traveling_ salesperson. I’m actually the top office salesperson, not that I care. Cat forgets that she’s a feminist when Clark is around.

/  
  
CAT: Who needs Gloria Steinem when you can have _Clark Kent_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk 2 me on tumblr @butchsocialist


	3. The party

(later, outside the warehouse)  
  
Mike fumbles with a small daisy before handing it to Kara.  
  
“Aww, buddy! Thanks,” says Kara, punching him lightheartedly in the shoulder. Mike grimaces.  
  
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Alex is walking towards them across the parking lot. She looks mad.  
  
“I better run,” says Mike. He turns around to walk away but slams into a warehouse truck, which pops open. Inside, Vasquez and Lucy are making out. Lucy’s shirt is half open, revealing a pixelated chest.  
  
Kara’s trying not to laugh while Alex gapes, spluttering like a fish. Mike looks delighted.  
  
“Oh, is this a party?” he exclaims, fingers already on the buttons of his shirt, “count me in!”  
  
All four women glare daggers at him, forcing him to flee in fear.  
  
/  
  
KARA: That looks really fun. I wonder… no.  
  
/  
  
ALEX: (raised eyebrows, no words)  
  
/  
  
MIKE: I don’t understand why they were so offended, girls used to _love_ doing that kind of stuff around me in college. I miss Delta Chi Mu.  
  
/  
  
LUCY: (reapplies her lipstick, adjusts her shirt)  
  
VASQUEZ: (grins at the camera)  
  
/  
  
(Later, in the conference room. Cat stands while Kara, Mike, and Winn take notes)  
  
“We need to throw a party for Lena Luthor,” says Cat. She’s looking outside the window, dreamily. “We need to convince her that she _has_ to keep this branch open.”  
  
“But Miss Grant, we don’t have money in the budget for that, and--”  
  
“Zip it, Winslow.”  
  
“Miss Luthor was clear that she’d be assessing the branches based on financial performance,” adds Kara helpfully. “I don’t think she’s expecting a party.”  
  
“We’ll reappropriate the funds set aside for birthday parties. Not all, though.”  
  
/  
  
CAT: What? We need enough for Clark’s birthday. And mine, of _course_.  
  
/  
  
“Okay, maybe that’ll work,” says Winn, exasperated. He knows when to cut his losses with Cat Grant.  
  
“I knew I appointed you to the party planning committee for a reason.”  
  
/  
  
WINN (looking offended): I know that I’m the accountant and all, which is probably why she needs me there, but I’m also a damn good color coordinator.  
  
KARA: It’s true. He picks the best ribbons.  
  
/  
  
(in the warehouse)  
  
“I don’t understand why you can’t use your shitty little conference room,” Vasquez growls. Cat flinches.  
  
“It’s being used for other purposes at the moment. Besides, we’ll give you free reign on dessert.”  
  
Vasquez looks tempted. “And the food.”  
  
Cat sighs. “Fine. But choose something everyone will like.”  
  
Vasquez grins.  
  
(later, Vasquez on the phone)  
  
“Hi, I’d like to order 10 Hawaiian pizzas.”  
  
/  
  
(a few hours later, in the conference room. Lena is hard at work. Cat steps in)  
  
“Have you been acquainted with our warehouse?” Cat says, a slight smirk on her face.  
  
“No, I don’t believe so,” Lena says, looking up for a moment before resuming her work. Cat spins her chair around and tries to pull her out of it.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“I want to show you the warehouse! You need a break anyway, you’ve been working for hours.”  
  
Lena pauses. “Okay fine,” she says, resigned. She snaps her laptop shut and lets Cat drag her out of the office. Cat has a shit-eating grin on her face.  
  
The warehouse is dark when they walk in. Cat clears her throat and the lights come on.  
  
“SURPRISE!” everyone yells. There’s a banner on the wall that says “WELCOME L-CORP (and lena luthor)”, and a cake with the L-Corp logo on it.  
  
“Oh!” Lena exclaims.  
  
Cat grins at her, and gestures at everyone else to start the party. Someone turns on a radio and people start opening boxes of pizza.  
  
“Ooh, Hawaiian! I love pineapple pizza,” Kara says excitedly. Cat hears her and turns to glare at Vasquez, who grins and gives her a thumbs up.  
  
Lena pulls Cat aside. “Cat, while this is much appreciated, where did you get the money for it?”  
  
Cat scoffs. “Don’t worry about it, we figured it out!”  
  
“Unfortunately, Cat, it’s my _job_ to worry. Your numbers are -”  
  
“Numbers, shmumbers. Enjoy the party. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Cat prowls off, probably to search for Clark. Lena looks around and sighs. It’s clear that no vegan considerations had been made for her, despite the party being in her name. She’s about to head back to the conference room when someone taps her shoulder timidly.  
  
It’s Kara, Cat’s assistant. She approaches Lena cautiously, handing something to her. It’s a vegan brownie.  
  
“I figured you might be vegan, so I - Miss Grant refused to believe you might be vegan, so.”  
  
Lena’s touched. “Thank you, Kara. That’s very kind of you.”  
  
/  
  
LENA: How someone that nice survives with Cat Grant as a boss is beyond me.  
  
/  
  
KARA: Did I _Google her_? (fumbles with her glasses) Psshh, of course not!  
  
/  
  
(back at the party)  
  
Clark watches uncomfortably as Winn and Cat do shots at the makeshift bar set up by the warehouse employees. Winn steals furtive glances in his general direction, but Cat’s more brazen with her looking, making sure to avert her gaze only when she’s sure Clark’s seen her.  
  
/  
  
CLARK: I better go home soon.  
  
/  
  
Alex watches curiously as Lucy drags Vasquez off to a hidden closet all the way at the back of the warehouse. Maggie, another warehouse employee, is openly flirting with Lyra, one of the two new interns who started a few weeks before Mike.  
  
She takes a long swig of her beer.  
  
/  
  
ALEX: Am I gay? Obviously. But I don’t dip in the company ink.  
  
/  
  
A woman in a black pantsuit walks in, fumbling with a kid sized book bag and an adult sized laptop bag. There’s a cute kid tailing behind her, cautiously observing the raucous adults playing drinking games and laughing after a long day at work.  
  
The kid’s bag has a rip in it, and Alex can see it breaking open a few seconds before it actually happens. She runs towards them just as the kid’s books begin to crash to the floor.  
  
“F-- _Darn_ it,” says the girl’s mom, catching herself in time. She kneels down to deal with the chaos. Alex is on autopilot as she helps the woman and her kid collect the books.  
  
“Thank you so much,” says the girl’s mom, tucking her hair behind her ear. Alex shrugs kindly and turns to the kid.  
  
“What’s your name?”  
  
“I’m Ruby. What’s yours?”  
  
“I’m Alex. How about we go put these books in your mom’s car?” Alex throws a quick glance towards Ruby's mom, who nods, slightly. Alex gets to her feet, picking up some books with her and handing some to Ruby.  
  
“Thanks a lot for all your help,” says Ruby’s mom, after the books are placed safely in the trunk of her car. She sticks out her hand and Alex takes it. “I’m Samantha Arias. You can call me Sam.”  
  
Alex nods. “Alex,” she replies, with a firm handshake.  
  
“Have you seen Lena around?”  
  
“Lena… as in, Miss Luthor? No, I haven’t.”  
  
Sam sighs. “I better go in and look for her. It was nice meeting you,” she says, with a twinkle in her eye. “Hon, say goodbye to Alex.”  
  
Ruby gives her a quiet wave, and Alex waves back, grinning at them stupidly as they walk back to the warehouse.  
  
/  
  
ALEX (defensive): What?  
  
/  
  
There are sweat stains at the pits of Mike’s shirt. He watches Kara intently as she laughs sweetly at one of Winn’s jokes, slapping him on the shoulder. He chugs the rest of his drink and puts it on the table next to him. There’s a look of determination on his face.  
  
He walks up to Kara, ignoring her friends.  
  
“Hey, Kara. Can I have a minute?”  
  
Kara pulls her gaze away from Winn and her friends, and looks at Mike.  
  
“Sure. What’s up?” They walk towards a more secluded section of the warehouse.  
  
“I-I wanted to know if you’d go out with me. Like, on a date.”  
  
“Oh. _Oh_.” Kara’s genuinely surprised. Before she can say anything, however, there’s a splat - someone’s pouring beer over Mike’s head. Kara sees Vasquez give her a shit-eating grin before running off, flipping Mike off in the process.  
  
“Oh no,” Kara says. Mike looks livid, storming off to the nearest bathroom.  
  
/  
  
VASQUEZ: (sticks out her palm)  
  
LUCY: (slaps a twenty dollar bill into it)  
  
/  
  
KARA: I didn’t see _that_ coming.  
  
/  
  
(top of the staircase leading down to the warehouse)  
  
Lena sticks to her spot at the top of the staircase, side-stepping couples trying to get past her to run up to an empty bathroom on the upper floor of Dunder Mifflin, observing other employees getting intimate with each other downstairs. Including Kara and a handsome man, whose file she hadn’t come across yet.  
  
She makes a mental note to inquire about the company’s stance on coworkers dating.  
  
Sam approaches her later. She has a glass of juice in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other.  
  
“Who’s idea was it to order Hawaiian pizza? Ruby won’t go near it,” she says, exasperated. She drops a kiss on Lena’s cheek and leans on the railing next to her, looking at the party below.  
  
“Where is Ruby anyway?”  
  
Sam points down towards a short haired woman. She’s thumb-wrestling with Ruby.  
  
“Cute,” says Lena. Sam nods. She watches her daughter and the woman - Alex - thoughtfully for a moment before turning to Lena again.  
  
“So, this party…”  
  
“I had no idea it was happening.”  
  
Sam smiles. She’d heard crazy things about Cat Grant before Dunder Mifflin was even on L-Corp’s radar, so it makes sense that she’d make an event out of their acquisition.  
  
“Well, it’s a good way to boost morale, so I’ll give her that.”  
  
Lena hums in approval. The handsome man who got beer poured on his head earlier is back, trying to speak with Kara again, his hair still damp and glinting under the dim warehouse lights. If Lena’s instincts are anything to go by, Kara’s avoiding him.  
  
It settles something in her stomach. She ignores the feeling.  
  
/  
  
LENA: Who runs the HR department? (crew member points towards Maxwell Lord. Cat Grant has him backed up into a corner, where they’re making out aggressively) Oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't hate mon el (i know) so he'll get treated better in subsequent chapters but i did want my revenge for his stupid ass comment about alex and maggie on the show... anyways things are getting busier so i'm not sure when the next update will be but thanks a lot for reading and leaving your feedback i'm glad y'all are enjoying
> 
> come talk to me @butchsocialist on tumblr or @mediumpIace on twitter (the I's fake)


	4. Mentoring Mike

(the next day)  
  
Lena’s at the Midvale branch before anyone else arrives. She stands at the front desk, going over some files as the staff begins to trickle in. She watches them intently, noting how they look tired but happier than they had looked the day before.  
  
Kara arrives with a cheery “good morning!” and Lena moves out of her way, letting her shuffle past and get to her seat. There’s a muffin, an apple, and a cardboard cup on her desk. Kara’s jaw drops for a moment before she turns to Lena and points at the food, and Lena just grins back at her, placing a finger on her lips.  
  
“Can’t have them,” she gestures at the rest of the staff, “think I’m playing favorites.” With that, she emerges from behind the front desk and heads to Cat’s office. Cat has arrived in a pair of large black sunglasses which cover her entire face. She has a scarf wrapped tight around her neck.  
  
“Cat, can you come see me in my office please?”  
  
Cat groans. “Why are you yelling? And has this office always been so damn bright?”  
  
/  
  
LENA: (rolls her eyes)  
  
/  
  
(in the conference room)  
  
“So Cat, I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday.”  
  
Cat shifts in her seat. Lena thinks she looks a little green, but makes no comment. Her assistant, Jess, had arrived from Metropolis this morning, so she was sitting next to Lena.  
  
“Miss Luthor, do you need me to take minutes?” she whispers, low enough for Cat not to hear her.  
  
“No Jess, that won’t be necessary. Thank you. Cat?”  
  
“Mmm?” Cat’s definitely about to throw up.  
  
“Do you need a quick break before we resume our meeting?”  
  
“Oh thank God,” she blurts out in response, before running out the door and smashing into none other than Maxwell Lord, who is also wearing glasses too big for his face. That’s when Lena notices that they’re both wearing the same clothes they had been at the party the night before.  
  
“Mr. Lord, a word, please.”  
  
Maxwell Lord struts in, trying to recompose himself as Cat runs to the bathroom.  
  
“What’s the company policy on dating coworkers?”  
  
“Jeez, Lena, good morning to you too. Cat and I aren’t dating, we just-”  
  
“I’m not asking about you and Cat! I don’t want or need to know anything about that. I just wanted to know, generally.” Her eyes travel to the front desk for a quick moment before refocusing on Maxwell Lord.  
  
“Well, the company doesn’t frown upon it, but we do need to know. For liability reasons,” he clarifies, clearing his throat. “There was a pretty nasty lawsuit a few years ago. The employees just have to fill in a form disclosing the nature of their relationship, nothing more.”  
  
“Thanks for letting me know. You’re free to go now,” says Lena. Just as he’s about to leave the room, Lena calls on him again.  
  
“I expect that you’ll fill one of those forms for yourself and Cat should the nature of your relationship change. Just because you’re the HR representative at this branch, doesn’t make you immune to the bureaucratic processes of this company.”  
  
She hadn’t noticed her voice rising, but by the end she notices that half the office is looking in on their conversation, interested.  
  
“Alright, Miss Luthor.” Maxwell nods at her stiffly. “Will that be all?”  
  
“Yes, Maxwell. Thank you.” She smiles at him as he storms off, then grabs her bag. She needs a smoke. And perhaps to be away from this office.  
  
“Jess, could you meet me at the Smallville branch in a few hours? I want to check on them before the end of the day.”  
  
“Yes, Miss Luthor.”  
  
She’s out of the office ten minutes later.  
  
/  
  
CAT (with a bit of dried puke in her hair): Phew, that was close, wasn’t it? Won’t have to see her until Monday.  
  
/  
  
KARA (upset, holding a brown paper bag with an indistinguishable logo on it): Miss Luthor's gone?  
  
/  
  
(in Cat’s office. Lena’s on speaker)  
  
“Cat, we didn’t have an opportunity to sit and talk today. I just wanted to congratulate you on the success of your party last night.”  
  
Cat gulps, nervously. “Really? I thought you’d be mad about that.”  
  
“I’ll be honest with you, I was. But it might’ve boosted morale. I guess we’ll have to see. In the meantime, please don’t have any more parties, at least until the sales reports are out.”  
  
Cat smirks. “Sure.”  
  
/  
  
CAT: Another win for me. (suddenly looks sick) Oh God. Keira? Could you bring me another plastic bag?  
  
/  
  
Mike approaches the front desk to speak to Kara.  
  
“Hey, um, I was hoping-”  
  
Kara laughs nervously. “Hi! Yes. Yes, I’ll go out with you.”  
  
Mike stops, his mouth open in an _o_. “Oh.”  
  
“Yeah! We can grab a coffee or lunch sometime.”  
  
Mike taps the desk with his knuckles. “Okay! Awesome! I’ll just -” he fishes his phone out of his pocket, and they exchange numbers. As he’s turning around he catches Alex glaring at him, but it’s not as hateful as it had been in the past.  
  
/  
  
ALEX: I don’t think he’s good enough for Kara, but she’s an adult. Let her make her own mistakes.  
  
/  
  
VASQUEZ: He’s going out with _Kara Danvers_?! Hmm. I thought she was a lesbian.  
  
/  
  
KARA: What? He’s cute! It’s not like we’re getting married or anything.  
  
/  
  
(at the Smallville branch)  
  
Jess walks in, holding a brown paper bag. Lena is in Lois Lane's office, speaking with Lucas Snapper and Lois herself. When Lena sees Jess through the window in Lois’ office, she politely excuses herself.  
  
“Jess. Hi. How's the Midvale branch?”  
  
“It’s good. Here.” She hands Lena the paper bag.  
  
“What’s this?”  
  
“Kara Danvers asked me to give this to you.”  
  
Inside, there are a dozen heart shaped vegan cookies. No one had ever done anything this nice for Lena. She would have cried, if she didn’t know how much it would scare Jess.  
  
Instead, she offers one to Jess before sticking her hand in the bag.  
  
/  
  
(The next week. Cat approaches Mike’s desk, where Mike is making paper planes)  
  
“Hey temp. What are you doing?”  
  
In his haste to get rid of the paper plane, Mike knocks over a stapler.  
  
“F-um. Damn it,” he says, bending over to pick it up. “I’m um. I’m selling paper.” He smiles nervously, picking up a phone handset and placing it on his ear. Alex, sitting across from him, smacks his hand and snatches her handset back.  
  
“Oh Matthew.” Cat looks off into the distance. “I remember the days when I was a temp.”  
  
“You were a temp?” says Mike, deciding not to correct her.  
  
“Well, no. But I remember the early days of my job here at Dunder Mifflin. Back in the day I actually thought this job was useless! Can you believe that?!”  
  
/  
  
MIKE: Uh… was?  
  
/  
  
“I’ve decided to take you under my wing and teach you about business. The tricks of the trade.”  
  
(Mike stares into the camera before addressing Cat)  
  
“Um. Okay. Sure. When are we going to start my lessons?”  
  
Cat scoffs. “Lessons? Oh Matt-”  
  
“It’s Mike.”  
  
“-Michael. These won’t be traditional lessons. Just shadow me for the rest of the day. Keira?”  
  
Kara looks up. “Yes Miss Grant?”  
  
“I’d like you to book twin manicures for myself and Matthew.”  
  
“It’s Michael. And what?”  
  
“First rule of business, dear Matthew. Always be ready,” she pauses, looking judgmentally at his nails. “Just… always be ready.” She walks towards the conference room.  
  
Kara has a wicked glint in her eye as she picks up the phone.  
  
/  
  
WINN: Did I just see Mike getting his nails painted red in the conference room? How gaudy.  
  
/  
  
MIKE (horrified): How do I get rid of this stuff? (he spreads his fingers out in front of the camera. His nails are red) I have a date with Kara tonight!  
  
/  
  
CAT: (clicks her nails on the table with glee)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the great response guys! will post the next chapter very soon
> 
> in the meantime come chat with me on tumblr @butchsocialist


	5. The fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who started the fire...

(the next morning. A shot of Mike and Kara exiting the same car)  
  
/  
  
LUCY: Are Mike and Kara really sleeping together? Hah! You owe me 20 bucks.  
  
VASQUEZ: I’ll give you 10. She could still be bi.  
  
/  
  
KARA: My date with Mike? Oh, it was fun! He’s very sweet.  
  
/  
  
MIKE: By the way, why does J’onn keep glaring at me? I’ve spent all day trying to stay out of his line of sight. (crew member points behind Mike. J’onn is glaring daggers at him through the conference room window) I… have somewhere to be. Excuse me.  
  
/  
  
(front desk. The phone rings)  
  
“Dunder Mifflin, this is Kara. How may I help you? Oh! Hello,” Kara says, twirling the phone cord between her fingers. Alex notices the change in tone and raises an eyebrow. She walks over to the front desk and hovers over Kara’s chair, listening intently.  
  
“I’m really glad you enjoyed them Miss Luthor. I mean Lena.” She fumbles with her glasses. Alex lets out a snort and Kara glares at her in response.  
  
“I’ll let Miss Grant know. Goodbye, Miss Luthor. I mean, Lena.” She places the phone down gently and then whacks Alex again, chasing her back to her desk. When she returns, she dials Cat’s extension.  
  
“Yes, Keira?”  
  
“Miss Luthor called. She said to let you know she’d be in some time this week.”  
  
Kara can see Cat rolling her eyes through her office window.  
  
“Ugh, fine. I’ve never known a CEO who was so hands on. Maybe she’s coming to tell me that they’re closing the Smallville branch. That’ll show Lois.”  
  
Kara quietly ends the call. Cat doesn’t notice.  
  
/  
  
(in the ladies room, where Lucy is primping)  
  
“Winn, what are you doing in here?”  
  
Winn emerges sheepishly from the bathroom. “I like to do my business in here. It’s cleaner, and I can avoid. Um. Certain people,” he says, thinking of Clark.  
  
The door swings open and Alex walks in.  
  
“Oh hey, Alex. Thank your sister for me, will you? Made 10 bucks off her today,” Lucy winks at Alex as she’s walking out.  
  
“What? What are you talking about?”  
  
/  
  
ALEX: Kara actually went out with that Mike guy? Jesus. I thought… never mind.  
  
/  
  
“Winn.”  
  
“Alex.” Winn takes a step towards the door.  
  
“What on Earth are you doing in here?”  
  
“Um. Nothing. Bye!” He’s out the door before Alex can say another word to him.  
  
/  
  
(Front desk, a few hours later. Alex and Kara are goofing around)  
  
“Um, Alex. What’s that?” Alex spins around in the direction of Kara’s finger. There’s smoke coming out of the break room.  
  
“Shit.” As soon as she sees it, the alarm starts to ring. Her and J’onn lock eyes across the room and nod before initiating evacuation procedure.  
  
“This is not a drill!” yells Alex, ushering people towards the fire exit. “Please keep your hands at your sides and DO NOT PAN-” she’s interrupted by Maxwell Lord shoving past her and ripping the front door open, his jacket a blur behind him.  
  
“-IC,” she finishes grumpily. Cat is close behind him, her heels in her hand as she pads down the stairs barefoot. J’onn is silently ushering everyone out. He notices Mike emerge from the men’s bathroom, a copy of GQ in his hand. As soon as Mike sees the smoke he’s rushing past J’onn and to the front door, shoving past Kara as he does so.  
  
J’onn finds Lucy in the annex. She has earphones in, so she’s missed the commotion of the last five minutes. J’onn lifts her easily out of her chair and runs to the front door, nodding at Alex again. The office is empty, so they head to the parking lot.  
  
/  
  
MAXWELL LORD: Yes, I know that women and children should leave first. But we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop. Thankfully. (he smiles nervously at the camera) And women… well, women are equal in the workplace. You know, by law. (he raises his hands helplessly) So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.  
  
/  
  
(in the parking lot)  
  
“Rule number two. Always be ready to adapt to any situation,” says Cat to Mike, who’s struggling to maintain a comfortable distance. “Adapt, react… readapt, act.”  
  
Mike nods blankly at her before walking briskly towards his car.  
  
/  
  
MIKE: I have an exam to study for. At business school. Yeah, I’m taking night classes now. I want to have a career so I can move _up_ , you know? I don’t want to be some guy here. J’onn’s the guy who does crosswords, Winn’s the guy who uses the girl’s bathroom. I don’t want to have a thing here. I don’t want to be the Something Guy.  
  
/  
  
“Okay, so let’s play some games,” says Kara cheerfully. J’onn rolls his eyes fondly at her. “How about…“  
  
“I say we play who would you do,” suggests Lucy, the corners of her lips lifting suggestively. Alex sputters.  
  
“I uh… sure, Lucy, that can be one game. Any others?”  
  
“Did someone say who would you do? I’m down for that,” says Mike, appearing behind Kara and slinging an arm over her shoulder. Kara grimaces as Lucy ushers Vasquez and her other friends from the warehouse over.  
  
“Are we playing a game?” Vasquez gets a wicked glint in her eye. “Is it who would you do?” Lucy nods at her eagerly. “Oh I’m in.” The rest of the warehouse crew assents.  
  
“Fine. But present company excluded.” There are a few groans at that, but no one really objects.  
  
Just as they’re about to begin, a sleek black car glides into the parking lot. Lena Luthor emerges with her assistant, Jess. Her hair’s wrapped into an immaculate bun and she’s in black trenchcoat and black pumps.  
  
“Oh, I’d definitely do Lena Luthor,” says Vasquez, earning herself a playful smack from Lucy. “What?! She’s gorgeous. Don’t lie and say you wouldn’t too,” she retorts, and Lucy nods in agreement.  
  
Kara looks at them angrily. “I said present company exc-”  
  
“Did someone say Lena Luthor? ‘Cause I agree,” says Mike, and there are murmurs of agreement around the circle. Even Winn’s nodding slowly, looking confused as he does. Lena looks over and smiles and waves at Kara, who smiles and waves back.  
  
“Can you guys just - hi Lena,” she says, greeting her with a wide forced smile. The rest of them eye Kara, impressed, or disperse awkwardly. Alex gives Kara a funny look and squeezes her elbow before walking over to talk to Lucy and Vasquez, who are suddenly at the other end of the parking lot.  
  
“Hi, Kara. What’s going on?”  
  
“There was a small fire -” she chuckles at the horrified look on Lena’s face before continuing, “probably nothing serious. The last time this happened Mis- someone forgot to unplug their hair straightener in the bathroom.” Lena didn’t need to know who did that.  
  
Lena nods. “And where is Cat?” Kara points over to the far end of the parking lot, where Cat and Maxwell Lord are clearly in an argument.  
  
“Best to stay out of that,” says Lena, and Kara chuckles.  
  
“Agreed.”  
  
The fire brigade arrives in a blur of sound and red. They’re immediately ready to enter the building. One of them falls back and asks to know what the situation is.  
  
Lena gestures towards Cat, who is still arguing with Maxwell Lord. “She’s the manager here, you should probably talk to her.”  
  
Vasquez and Lucy are still ogling Lena, with Alex standing idly by. Mike stands a short distance behind them, right under the shade of some trees.  
  
Suddenly, a firefighter emerges from the building, something blackened and burned in her hand.  
  
A sandwich.  
  
“Looks like someone needs to learn how to set the timer on the toaster oven next time they’re grilling a cheese sandwich,” she says goodnaturedly. She gestures at the other firefighters, who chuckle and gear up to leave.  
  
Lena curiously watches as the rest of the office staff slowly turn towards Mike, who grimaces nervously.  
  
“Mike started the fire!” yells Winn, and they all start to giggle. “Fire guy!”  
  
/  
  
CAT: Mike’s booksmart. I’m street smart. I mean, even _I_ know how to make a cheese sandwich without burning a building down, and I’ve never actually made a sandwich for myself in my life!  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the rave reviews guys! i'm really sorry this chapter took so long, work and depression have been kicking my ass... next up is gonna be a xmas chapter hopefully... with mistletoe... and i'm introducing brainy and nia soon because they are the best thing that's ever happened to the cw
> 
> hmu on @butchsocialist on tumblr, @mediumpiace on twitter


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